Hey, y’all. Happy Friday. It’s sunny, but the heat warning isn’t supposed to kick in until 11am. Brian and Mom just left for the Mississippi day trip, and no one said anything about me not going. I slept fucking weirdly and now my back hurts. Also, congrats to the gun owners who now have more rights to their guns than I have over my own uterus. You know, the thing that’s inside me. INSIDE.

Bravo, you festering bowl of severed dicks.

With the adults out for the day, I have the house to myself. I didn’t even think of it, but Mom left the keys for me so I could move their car and leave the house. I would have been really upset if I couldn’t leave. The entire point of me staying home is that I can spend the morning adulting, get lunch, and spend the afternoon doing not much of anything.

As for adulting, I’m planning to clean my bathroom and my bedroom. I hate doing it while they’re home. I feel judged. If I do it too quickly, I feel like I’m judged for cutting corners. Clean too slowly, and I feel like maybe I have no idea what I’m doing. More likely, if I take too long, I feel like I’m judged for how bad things must have been to take that long to clean whatever.

Oh well. I’m going to go get dressed and assume a human form, and start cleaning.