[Current Mood | okay ]

[Listening To | YOU TRUCK IS LOUD AND YOUR DICK IS SMALL ]

Thank fuck it’s Friday, eh? It’s a bright morning, with clear skies and sunshine. We’re not in the smoke zones, but my phone has already warned me that it’ll be a warmer day. This is perfect sleeping weather, in my opinion. As long as I don’t wear anything to bed, I can sleep under with just a comforter tossed over me, and not wake up drenched in sweat. Once the sun started to come up, Podrick periodically came up on the bed to cuddle on my chest.

My new mic came in yesterday, setting off a mini-meltdown (on the inside) when I opened it and discovered it had a plain ol’ USB connection, and I don’t have enough ports on the Dell. I was especially upset because I know I looked at the plug types of the mics I added to my cart, but when it came to actually buying one, I grabbed one that looked like one in the cart, $2 cheaper, and I didn’t look at the plug. Shawshank promised we could look in a dollar store when we leave town this weekend, and I begrudgingly went about setting up the bedroom after he left for work.

I pushed myself through the set up in defeat-mode, having been excited about something new, only to have curb stomped my enthusiasm with my own stupidity. Halfway through setting up, I went through every drawer and storage container in The Flat looking for a way to connect it to the Dell, finding about a dozen USB-C ➡ USB-A, but nothing going in the other direction. Eventually, in the bottom of a tote full of lingerie, I found a tiny-ass adapter. I’m pretty sure I bought it a couple of years back to go with one of those mini-mics.

Crisis averted, I worked on getting it connected. That was only slightly less annoying, as there are few things in this world I dislike more than configuring devices. After troubleshooting a bit – because why the fuck would it try to use my mic as a speaker? – I got it working. I tweaked some settings so I didn’t blow people’s eardrums out if I coughed, recorded some test clips in OBS, and logged in. My space is a little crowded now, the mic sits on the laptop in front of me and takes up about ⅓ of the non-keyboard space, but it’ll do. I made jokes about being a dirty true crime podcast. It was a quiet evening when Tammalynn¹ opened the storage container and found something…. amiss. Her golden buttplug, the most profitable of her toys, had vanished…. without a trace. Join us as we unravel the mystery of Tammalynn’s Missing Money Maker, my new 47 part series…..

This is the last night of work for us, and we have the whole weekend off. We have plans, and we’re going on a lil baby road trip, that no longer needs a detour to a dollar store.

1. Not my online name, apologies if it’s yours, I just pulled it out of my head, but I hope you find your plug. ↩︎

[Current Mood | blah ]

[Listening To | the world is burning. or flooding. take your pick, it's everywhere. ]

Morning. It’s not good. It’s not bad, but it’s not good. Without the high temps sapping his supply, Podrick has the energy to chase Pippin again, and it feels like he’s making up for the time off. He was fine right up until we got out of bed, so I guess I should count my blessings.

I survived another shift. It’s nicer to stream since the heat wave left the area, it’s nice to not be sweaty and feeling vaguely damp everywhere. I made some money for the second night in a row, which made me happy. I threatened my viewers last night, “I bought a mic, now you’ll hear all my random noises, it’ll be bad ASMR”. Someone told me he already uses me as ASMR background noise, which wasn’t what I expected to hear, but I’ll take it. The mic is sitting in the post office, and I’ll have to spend some time messing with the audio settings in OBS before I go online today.

My crow army has landed in the front yard to make their morning demands. We regularly have four crows who fly in for snacks of seed and puffed wheat. The two feeders are full of a seed mix. The small seed keeps the little birds fed, and the sunflower seeds keep the squirrels fat and the crows happy.

Two shifts left in the week.

[Current Mood | nostalgic ]

[Listening To | Canadian news ]

Good morning, y’all. It’s a wet Wednesday here, and I believe our heat wave is well and truly over.

The morning DJs I grew up listening to in Rhode Island are retiring after 36 years, they made an announcement this morning. There’s talk it’s less a retirement and more likely IHeartRadio’s “AI can do your job so we no longer need DJs”, but it doesn’t matter. Sure, they rotated through about a dozen artists’ discographies and I’m pretty sure anything from this millennium was prohibited from entering the studio, but that was our Led Zeppelin/Skynyrd/U2/RHCP station. Paul and Al were a staple of RI radio, feeding my childhood – and well into adulthood – a steady stream of raunchy humor for a listener base that thought Howard Stern might’ve been a bit too much¹. One of them even signed the guestbook of my very first web page sometime back around the turn of the century.

A guy I’ve never seen on CB came into my chat on Monday, tipped², and opened the conversation with “I’ve been trying to catch you on stream for a while now!” and I immediately knew he was a bullshit artist. Firstly, ain’t no one seeking me out. I’m lucky if I break into the top 1000 cams online. Second, it’s giving car warranty spam. He tried to suck up to me, telling me he loved my aesthetic and the vibe I cultivated, and asked how long I’ve been camming.

“I’m eternal”, I replied. He tipped another token and asked the same question. “I’m eternal“, I told him again. “I am the past and the future, and I’ve been here since the beginning.”

That wasn’t enough to stop him, and his next question was what keeps you in the cam business for so long? I leaned into the camera conspiratorially and replied, “I think it’s the autism.”

He left shortly after, when I made it abundantly clear I wasn’t interested in joining “his” cam site. I reported him for trying to pull me off-platform, and made a note on his profile in case he tried again.

And of course he came back – last night. Same username, but now with an extra letter on the end. He was smart enough not to keep going with his bullshitery.

Today, we work. I hear the crows, which means I need to put on some pants and throw some wheat puffs to them.

1. Not all the time, though. I distinctly remember this radio station having an X-rated hypnotist on to “make” a woman cum on the air during an evening commute. ↩︎
2. 1 token. He threw 5¢ at me. ↩︎

The heat wave is breaking, and we’re sitting at a manageable temp for the moment. I wasn’t up super early, and when I did wake up, I went back to sleep for a little bit. Podrick behaved while we were in bed, but the cooler temps have him triggering Shawshank like whoah this morning. Pippin is chilling somewhere quiet.

I worked, but it was a miserably warm shift again. I set up the bedroom, then took a break because I couldn’t find Podrick and knew there was a non-zero chance he’d pop up in the bedroom while I had my tits out. He turned up, hiding in the bathroom, cuddling the toilet to keep cool. I logged in and made more than Saturday’s shift, but I’m nowhere near paying myself back for the Dell. On a positive note, one of the bots I use to remind people to follow me was fixed recently. It’s supposed to remind people to follow every minute. A month or so ago, an update added a bunch of sexy new “follow me!” prompts, but the code was miscalculated to send prompts every hour instead. Sure, the settings said it should be every minute, but nope. Hourly. That was properly fixed this week, and I’m finally getting followed again. I was surprised to see I broke 8000 followers yesterday.

When I logged out, I made myself a delicious frozen dinner, then played some RCT3. I can’t seem to get the park to attract more than ~1500 guests. I started an ostrich breeding program. Shawshank came home and put wrestling on, and I opened a fresh sandbox and made a big waterfall.

The cycle begins again.

Greetings and saturations, y’all. The sun is beating down upon TinyTown this morning, and temp is already up to 75°🦅 and it’s not even 8am. This is some positively Rhode Island heat bullshit, the dreaded triple-H combo of hazy, hot, and humid. We can tell how hot it’s been, because Podrick was too warm to do asshole things early this morning. The first of the crows has just dropped down onto the front lawn for breakfast. I’m trying not to get hung up on the heat in the forecast, it’s supposed to be cooler than yesterday.

And yesterday was brutal.

We were forced to put on clothes and leave the house, since we needed groceries. Once it was clear that I wasn’t planning to do makeup, Shawshank said “then you need to put clothes on so we can leave now, I want to get into some A/C”. Heat aside, it was a beautiful day to sit in the truck.

We made a couple of stops in Slightly BiggerTown for supplies, then drove back home. I stripped down into undies as soon as I could. We put food away, ate lunch, and played with our amusement parks. I put a horse habitat adjacent to my western mining town. Shawshank started a tiger breeding program. Several of his park’s guests got a lesson in ♩♪♩♬ THE CIRCLE OF LIFE ♬♩♪♩ when he dropped a gazelle in the tiger enclosure.

We have a long week ahead of us, a full 5-day stretch to be followed by a full weekend off. Today is probably going to suck at least as much as yesterday. At least I have the benefit of working in as little clothing as possible.