[Current Mood | okay ]

[Listening To | World Cup updates ]

Good morning, world. It’s a sunny Thursday, but I’m sure this week’s got a thing for “morning sun, with afternoon bullshit”. Podrick was very cuddly this morning, and I lost count of how many times he came up for attention. And why was he so desperate for attention?

Because I took his automatic food bowl away, and he didn’t get his little 5:30am snack. Captain Butterball treats the robo-feeder like a 24/7 vending machine. If the bowl is empty, he’ll shimmy his paw up into the kibble-chute, turn the mechanism that moves the food, and manually dispense a couple of pieces at a time. Now here we are, with a 20lb cat who can’t stop destroying everything and everyone he lands on. Destruction aside, it’s wicked unhealthy for him, and I want to keep him around. On top of that, he’s dangerously close to being unable to clean his own ass.

As awful as Tuesday’s shift was, I vowed to not let it get to me. I set up the bedroom in the usual way. I’d planned to wear a wig, but changed my mind. I really couldn’t be bothered to fuck with my hair at all. Instead, I pulled it up in two pony tails, then threw a tank top over a sheer bikini top and considered myself “ready”.

I’ve been trying to sort out which tags I work best for me lately, because #mommy is full of people who want to completely disregard the TOS. I took out #mommy, added a bunch of new contenders, and have been running an app that changes my hashtags regularly. Monday was bad. To test things, I modified my little hashtag tracker to watch the 10 new tags, and tried it out on Tuesday’s stream, thinking maybe I’d be able to glean some ideas of what worked and what didn’t. Tuesday was even worse than Monday. Last night, I swapped out a couple of tags that definitely weren’t working for me, and added #mommy back. After two hours, I kept the top five tags, and turned off the tag-switcher. Things were marginally better for my last two hours. I streamed for about 4 hours total, collected my money, and logged out to make a grilled cheese.

Two more days, then we’ll have a day off to go do adult things. Is soccer over yet?

[Current Mood | socially exhausted ]

[Listening To | the world is BURNING ]

Last night’s shift was bad. This morning was bad. It’s just bad all around.

I’d love to know what’s happening to kill my stream. I used to get steady traffic, and now I get crickets. I fixed some of the issues with my cam’s quality last night, but it didn’t matter. In fact, lately it doesn’t matter what connection speed, or what overlays are on my video. It’s just dead for me. No one wants me. I’m a dried up husk of unfuckable woman.

Podrick came up for snuggles this morning, which was really nice. Until the penultimate visit, that is, when I fell asleep with him stretched across my chest and arms. When the 5:30am snack dropped into the bowl, he launched off of me, pulling me out of my fragile slumber. Pod’s next stop was a hard landing on Shawshank‘s stomach, waking him from a dead sleep.

Just bad all around.

[Current Mood | drained ]

[Listening To | rich white dude on tv, talking golf ]

Hello, friends. It’s Tuesday morning. Taco Tuesday, if that’s your thing.

It’s been a typical morning, so I won’t bore my 3 readers and the army of bots with the details. I was treated to plenty of cuddles.

Last night was awful on Chaturbate. My room languished at the bottom of the rankings all night. I had one tipper, a guy who had been in my room on Saturday as well. He tipped, but not enough for me to deal with. Saturday night, I asked him not to call me “mommy”. I guess I give off the mommy-vibes, which I’m fine with, because it’s not something I actively control. I blocked the word in general chat, because it’s at least a 50/50 chance they’re gonna make it weird, but I can’t block them from putting it in tip notes. I asked him not to on Saturday, and he was fine (with one slip up) after that. He started up last night and I wasn’t having it. I told him not to do it again or I’d kick him, he acknowledged it, then did it again and left. Whatever, dude. Thank you for $0.30.

I logged out, broke.

It didn’t help that I’m experimenting with my room’s hashtags again. Chaturbate and its ever-evolving algorithm demands constant trial and error. I had a little visitor tracker I used before all the upgrades, which was good for seeing actual numbers, but I was using a touch screen that was within easy reach back then. If I can’t figure out a way to keep the touch screen laptop within reach, I’ll have to modify the tracker so I can quickly trigger it with keystrokes tonight.

[Current Mood | blah ]

[Listening To | weather, and it's all bad ]

G’day, cunts. Aside from waking up early and feeling damp, I’ve had a nice morning of cuddles from my boys. I’m fairly certain the first time Podrick came in was after 4am, and Shawshank yelled at him to get away from the window. Pod left the bed for the time being. Some time later, he returned, skipping the window entirely and coming up to my pillow to make his demands. I didn’t check the time, I just accepted the furry 20lb mass on my chest and cuddled him. When he left, I dozed for another hour. Pod came back around for second snuggles, and by that time I was warmer, and more awake. I wrapped my arms around him, petting and whispering to him.

As planned, we did nothing yesterday. Shawshank played “San Andreas” and made brunch. I made french toast. While Shawshank played, I added some more random “atmosphere” to some of my cam stuff. There are a few overlays that I use to create the whole “ancient TV signal” vibe, which I can either easily swap out, or update on their own. My menu overlay – controlled by an HTML file – has a “hotline status” and “latest prophesy” section, both spitting out something random via JavaScript. I also have a small ticker crawl at the bottom of the screen, which scrolls silly disclaimers and “caller reviews”. That’s handled with a plain text file; I swap between three of them to keep things fresh. I added a bunch of shit to 🌈all the things🌈, so there’s less repetition.

I capped off the night with a soak in the tub, because this is a full, 5-day week for us both, and I expect it will feel longer.

[Current Mood | drained ]

[Listening To | Pod making noise *again* ]

The day started with a bang: Podrick being launched off the bed and at the wall at about 4am. I don’t know what he did, maybe he jumped on Shawshank‘s legs or something while trying to reach me for the usual cuddles, but that’s how things started. Pod’s been active, which means he’s making noise, which means it hasn’t been a good morning.

Since we had a mini-vacation, I was determined that I’d be logged in and ready to stream on time yesterday. The replacement for my failing ring light came in on Friday, with loads more settings and options, and I expected to tinker a bit to find the “right” lighting. Fortunately, it didn’t take too long to find something that worked, and I was on at my regular time.

Stream went ok. I used the cell data for a while, then they throttled me and I had to switch to the wifi. My stream formats are pretty simple: I log in, I take the curlers out of my hair, and I start pulling/reading cards as people come in. The cards are still the cheater set I have, and while I’m definitely getting better at recognizing and reading them, I absolutely run on vibes.

I definitely don’t tell the dudes which card is for them, or what I’m doing. You come in, you get a card. Done. Sometimes I spice it up a bit. Card says they’re faced with a choice? Left hand or right. Card represents a loyal and devoted guy? Sounds like a simp to me. Signs point to a man ruled by logic and routine? Nope, sorry, looks like you’re a predictable, boring fuck.

I ended up streaming for about 5 hours. I’ve been making a point to take breaks every 90 minutes or so– long enough to pee, pet Podrick, and maybe take a couple of rips off the bong. Just getting up and walking helps more than anything, I think. Being able to put up the BRB screen and run off for 3-5 minutes is wonderful.

We’re off today, and we’re not leaving the house. Shawshank will do the laundry and make us brunch. Next week is going to be long.