I need a push.

Good morning, Monday! I’m up! And if you’re reading this, then you are, at the very least, awake. I have a coffee. The coffee is my push for the morning.

I don’t look forward to today’s shift. The pharmacy was closed over the weekend, and I expect it’s going to absolutely suck. StressedRPh and I did as much of the weekend’s work before we left on Friday night. Unfortunately, I don’t expect the morning to go smoothly at all. DayTech will be in at lunchtime to help with the onslaught.

At the same time, I’m happy the weekend is over. It’s been a bad weekend in my bubble, and I feel like I have my own personal doom cloud overhead.

I wanted to do things, but it’s incredibly frustrating to try and clean and sort the house when I can’t get rid of anything right away. Shawshank tried to help me by giving me a little list of tasks to take on. I appreciated the push, but it’s just so difficult to know where to even start.

Push

I could move a pile from one place to another, to consolidate things, but now I’ve made one larger pile instead.  If it’s not piles of STUFF, it’s piles of boxes to put stuff IN.  It’s everywhere, it overwhelms me.  There are boxes under both the folding table and the wooden table in the kitchen.  The front entry is filled with stacks of unassembled priority mailing boxes, things to take eBay pictures, and cases of ginger ale. 

There’s no room in the kitchen for the ginger ale.

I have boxes of things to go to Mom, a pile for an aunt, and four boxes of antique books for my uncle.  There’s boxes of things that didn’t sell at the yard sale, and boxes of house paperwork I felt should be kept, and a paper bag filled with 18 years of tax documents, pay stubs, and court transcripts/paperwork to bring for disposal at work.  

Right now, I want to buy a shitload of trash bags, fill them to the bursting point, and leave. More realistically, I’d love to fill a bunch of bags over the next few days and haul them out on Tuesday night for trash pickup. Unfortunately, I have two dumbass cats who love to eat plastic bags. I’d end up with a bunch of bags that would need to be repacked, and cat puke to clean.

I did manage to have a little bit of a push. I didn’t achieve much, but I put a couple of things up on eBay and scheduled a donation pickup. The pickup is not until the end of the month, which sucks. However, the last time I scheduled one, the organization emailed me to ask if I wanted an earlier date. I really hope they do the same thing this time around.

There’s a lot of smaller items in the basement that I need to pack up before then. I don’t want to pack up a bunch of useless, broken shit and forces someone else to sort through what’s good and what’s trash. I also don’t want to be that person who gives “emotionally valuable” things to my family and forces them to be the one to throw it out. Tomorrow night, I’ll bring out a bunch of the smaller things for trash day.

I know that once the ball gets rolling, things will progress quickly. The problem is that first push.