Courtesy of my Facebook memories, this is the story of one of my absolute most favorite patient interaction ever, from this day in 2008.
We had the most embarassingly obnoxious man at work today. He comes up to the drop off counter and hands me his empty bottle and tells me he’s had it filled here before and just wants 2 tablets. I look him up, he’s in MA on business from CA, and keeps transferring his Levitra from the Cali store to ours. This is generally not an issue, except this time around he had no refills, and I tell him so. I’m bracing myself for the worst, since he’s already told me he wants to wait, wants them done ASAP because SHE’S WAITING IN THE CAR.
“Why don’t I have any refills? I know I had refills left. My doctor always gives me refills. Why don’t YOU PEOPLE have my refills on file? The other store had refills.”
Mind you, the entire time he’s complaining he’s getting more and more frantic about the lack of refills. He keeps reiterating the fact that someone is waiting in the car and he needs only two pills. He even goes so far as to just ask StressedRPh if she’ll sell him a couple. Yeah, because the pharmacist is willing to blow her career to sell you $30 worth of boner pills.
We go through his file and see that his prescription had an initial 9 tablets with 3 refills, giving him a grand total of 36 tablets to use. Which he used. We explain this to him, having printed out the history of his sex life since April 22nd, 2008, showing him the number of tablets he bought and what days, totalling, you guessed it, 36 tabs. This does not satisfy him. He starts ranting about how he NEEDS them, only needs two tablets, and he has someone in the car. I tell him for the 15th time that he does not have any tablets available to him and that we can fax his doctor but if he really wants them then he should call him himself. Which he does, taking up the entire drop off area because he needs to have an obnoxiously load conversation with his doctor’s assistant about his pressing need to get some tail
tonight, it has to be tonight because he’s leaving for home tomorrow.
I’m sorry, but the fact that you’ve got some hooker your car who is going to charge you extra and you can’t maintain an erection does not mean that you’ve got an emergency, and doesn’t mean that we’re going to bend over backwards for you. Especially when you’re prefacing everything you say with “YOU PEOPLE” and finishing it with “SOMEONE IS WAITING IN MY CAR!”
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