I’m not sure what’s causing it, but I just can’t get out of the bed lately. I just can’t. Today was no different. The alarm goes off at 5:30am, and I stay in bed for at least an hour, hitting the snooze. And it’s not like I’m laying there awake but just lazy. I fall right back to sleep. Then, to add insult to injury, I’ll be fine all morning at work but then feel like every bit of energy drains straight out of me around lunchtime. Regardless of my sleeping arrangements on Friday night, I will not set the alarm on Saturday morning.
We were chatting last night when Shawshank posed the question.
“Have you mentally prepared yourself for an empty house on Friday?”
I’ve tried, but there’s really no way, really. When I think of an empty house, I always think of what it’s like when I move in. I’ve never had any sort of excitement when I’ve left a place. There’s never been a time when I’ve looked around an empty apartment as I left and thought
FUCK YES THIS IS AWESOME.
When I think about an empty living space, it’s always at a new place. That feeling where everything is fresh, and it’s a new start. However, Shawshank‘s assumption that this will be difficult is correct. As much as I’d like to say I can handle this, I know it’ll be hard. There’s a good chance that tomorrow night, I’ll come home from work to an much emptier house. I’ll have no couches, and no bed.
And no excuses.
Last night, I thought about what I’d be doing over the holidays. It happens now and then, those random thoughts about something farther down the line and I need to stop myself. There is no down the line, at least not here in the little white house.
At this point, if everything is hauled out on Friday, then I’ll spend the weekend cleaning everything. From there, I can make some inquiries about what I could potentially get for the house as is, because I don’t have the money to put into it.
Today, it’s another shift with StressedRPh. She’s living up to her nickname right now. We have a flu clinic next week, and it doesn’t look good. I fully expect it to be a total shitshow.
Right now, it’s time for a workout. I haven’t been able to do anything since last week due to schedule changes. I’m afraid I’m entering sloth-mode, and that’s not good.
Hang in there! You can do it.