Originally posted on November 8th, 2007
Dear customers,
In an effort to preserve the sanity of my coworkers and myself, here is a small list of requests and rules that we think you should abide by.
Regarding your directions…. Please understand that when your doctor writes a script with the directions “1 tablet at bedtime,” it means your main bedtime and does not include your afternoon naps. Likewise, when your labels say “1 tablet twice a day if needed,” your doctor means you shouldn’t be taking more than 2 tablets in a day, not the 4 tabs your strange math calculations seem to work out to.
To our valued customers on Suboxone…. Do not get pissed off at us because we told your dentist that you’re taking Suboxone when you drop off a RX for something you probably should definitely not be taking if you’re trying to get off the hard shit. The man needs to know this sort of information, and “I’m ashamed that I’m on it” is not a valid excuse for withholding your medical history from a health care provider. Additionally, if you’re taking Suboxone, do not give us shit when we give you shit for buying a 10-pack of needles. Your doctor doesn’t even believe your bullshit anymore, and it never ceases to amaze us that your father still thinks you only bought the syringes for some dude in the parking lot.*
Early Oxycontin refills… We have several patients on oxycontin. For the most part, they are nice guys who know when they can get their next fills. However, there are some of you who insist upon coming in 2-3 weeks early. You know that you got a 30 day supply, there’s no reason you should be coming in after 13 with a new prescription with the same directions. And telling us that you need an early refills override because your doctor changed you from 2 tabs to 3 tabs daily is not a valid excuse when we know you still have 2 weeks available even with the dose change. Unlike you, we are not morons.
Socially inept…. Don’t hit on us. Ever. We don’t want to know that your Viagra prescription is “for experimental use only.” We don’t need to hear how expensive it is to get a woody these days, nor do we need to know that you’re only getting it “just in case.” Don’t bleed on our counter, or hand us a script with bloody fingerprints all over it. This rule is especially important if you happen to be one of our HIV+ customers.
And for the love of all things holy, do not ask us which brand of condoms will fit your 15 year old son.
*Spoiler alert as of Nov. 8, 2021: this patient later overdosed and no one was surprised.
This is both sad and totally relateable to my life going to a dingy sad pharmacy on my block for the past 5 years.
I think it’s pretty much accurate to any retail pharmacy. It’s just way worse now than 14 years ago. I feel bad for my coworkers 😭