Strange things are afoot at the house with the pink door.
We came home last night and found a large box on our deck. Almost simultaneously, we both said something like “I didn’t buy anything.” It’s a giant Keurig box, with an equally large Keurig machine inside. We open up the box, just in case there’s a gift invoice or something, but there’s nothing. The shipping label is most definitely our address, but the addressee is a business that I’m positive does not exist in our house. After a quick googling, it’s confirmed that the business is legit – it’s actually a national business. Someone done fucked up. For the time being, we’ve left everything alone. One of us will contact Keurig to figure out what they want us to do with it. Until then, it’s not getting opened, and it’s not leaving the house unless I see an actual FedEx driver get off his truck to ask for it.
I’m ever hopeful that it’s the universe’s way of saying “damn, girl, you left the coffee pot on again, you’re going to burn your fucking house down, take this and use it, k?”
I’ve got today and tomorrow off. I still haven’t decided if I’m going to get dressed, but I’ve already done a workout this morning. His shift started at 7am, which means he wants to be there for 6:45am or he considers himself late. I still get up early and have a cup of coffee and breakfast with him. Because I’ve got nowhere to be and nothing to do today, I opted for a longer workout instead of my morning yoga routine, which let me take a short nap after he left. It’s always these little naps that bring out the weirdest dreams, and this morning was no different. I’m sure there’s some actual reason why this happens, but I don’t care enough to look it up. It’ll ruin the magic.
In the first part of the dream, he was going down on me on the sofa. Never happened in the past, not happening now. He doesn’t like it. More’s the pity, because it was a nice dream.
Alas, because my brain just can’t let me have nice things, that dream segued into somehow looking through his browser history. Once I was properly traumatized by the sheer number of things that I did not need to know, the dream continued into the third and final part of the dream. Because I had a good dream, and a bad dream, my subconscious declared that I needed to complete the Triple Crown of Bizzarro World and sent me a dream about a never ending period.
Wipe and wipe and wipe, and still blood. As disgusting as that dream was, it’s at least relevant to me. After about five years of having little to no periods, I went off my birth control for a couple of months while I found a new doctor, I’m currently dealing with the first real period I’ve had in a year or so. To say that I’m not dealing with it very well would be an understatement.
