Good morning. Today is not Friday, and my coffee mug is empty. There’s sunshine, at least.

Have you ever had to do basic toilet maintenance while high? It was not a good experience. In my head, I just want to go back into bed, put on my headphones, and eat my chocolate chip cookies. I’m trying to reseat this slimy rubber flapper and its ball mechanism and nothing’s sitting right. I thought I was going to drop or otherwise somehow break the tank lid. Factoring in it was not quite midnight and I was trying to be quiet – and this whole thing was just a recipe for potential disaster.

2/10, do not recommend.

I opened up Vault 5 yesterday and removed most of its moss due to mold. I replaced it with another plant from the yard. Several hours later, I realized if the plant was such a bitch to dig up, it wasn’t going to be easily removed from the container.

Unfortunately, removing the moss removed springtails. Putting them back into the ecosystem involved adding more water to the Vault. It’s been open with a stocking lid since yesterday, and it looks like a butthole.

Mom has a load of clothes in the wash. Last night, she told me to leave anything I wanted clean by the washer. I didn’t tell her I haven’t even put away the stuff she washed on Monday.

She knows I’m a fucking scrub. I don’t need to open my mouth and give her any more evidence of why it was a terrible idea to let her 45 year old toddler move back home.