I really want cookies. Do I have cookies? Of course not. I have protein cookies, but I want big, buttery chocolate chip cookies. Do I have all the makings of chocolate chip cookies? Of course I do. I could make them. Dozens of them, actually.

However, I haven’t had nearly enough alcohol to make cookies that wouldn’t be done until damned near midnight. Booze be damned, I’m an instant gratification type of girl.