Sunday.
Understandably, it was a rough night. I fell asleep without too much trouble; washing down a cocktail of melatonin and Benadryl with a couple of shots of Canadian Club helped.
Just now, my phone’s autocorrect tried to make that last sentence say “I feel asleep”. It’s an appropriate phrase. Yet again, I’m feeling like this isn’t real. None of this is real. This is all just another of those bizarre, unsettling dreams I have when I’m exhausted and take extra melatonin. I’ll wake up, it’ll be Monday morning, we’ll be drinking coffee and getting ready for work like we always do.
Get up, get up, get up off of it
Wake up.
Staying sleep was a little more difficult, and I woke up a few times. The cats came and cuddled up against me for much of the night. Once again, their safe little bubble of routine been disrupted. They know something’s wrong, and their mom’s sad, and so they do what cats do: snuggle their human.
In less than an hour, I call the jail and find out when/if I can visit today. I doubt he’ll have any more information than he did yesterday. The more information I find online about the deportation process, the less optimistic I am. While it’s not a relatively quick process, it also doesn’t seem like he’ll be out while it’s happening. Additionally, there’s still a good chance he will be deported anyway. It feels like it doesn’t matter if he’s out. It might give us a little extra time for settling our affairs, but the outcome is the same in the long run.
Everywhere I look in the house, I’m mentally tallying how much money I could sell it for, or if it’s something I feel like I should keep. Depending on the timeframe we’re dealing with, and what we can expect to happen to him, I’ve got some decisions to make. If I make a go of it on my own and keep the house, I figure I might be able to get a couple of months before things start to unravel. I could try to get into an apartment, and sell the house. However, I’d need to start working on that immediately, while my credit is still good enough to pass a credit check. Lastly, I could just leave it all and head south. Let the house go, sell what I can and leave what I can’t and can’t take with me.
At that point, there’s nothing left for me here.
