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I just really like small shit, ok?

Because really, how often does a person get to say something like “so there I was with a mouthful of Justin Bieber’s balls…”, am I right?

We might get pizza for dinner and I can’t fucking wait, but there’s going to be painting and that’s good too. Also, no matter how I try to avoid it, I’ll probably superglue a tuft of grass to myself at some point.