[Current Mood | accomplished ]

[Listening To | 🚨WHOOP WHOOP🚨 IT'S SATURDAY MORNING CRIME SHOWS ]

Hello, world. Let’s do Saturday, shall we? I got out of bed early because Podrick was causing things to go *thunk* in the living room and I had to make sure he wasn’t into anything really bad. Once I confirmed he wasn’t, I planned to get back under the covers, but Shawshank was out of bed when I went back into the bedroom.

Last night’s shift was slow, but with a steadier flow of viewers than they have been lately. In the lulls, I tried to go through all the things I’ve messed with to see if there is anything that could have really fucked things up for me. Like, honest assessments. Am I not good at this? Too fat? Too old? The biggest things I could come up with are:

1. an irregular streaming schedule, where I was offline for ~3 weeks, came back for a few shifts, then left for another week
2. the psychic hotline shtick

I can’t help the schedule, really. Shawshank‘s schedule was borked and he had four straight days off, so I had four days off. I’m not sure how much, if at all, the regularity of my schedule affects placement in the algorithm, or if the “have a regular schedule” is more so that followers know when they can find you. Regardless, I’m still showing up on time, and staying online through the slow shit.

The bigger change has been the overall room theme, going from a simple “weird chick on her bed” to “lost psychic hotline TV signal”. I love it. I adore the idea of it, I love the vibe, and I have so much fun making the scrolling text crawls on the bottom of the screen. However….. I’m a half a century old bog witch, and my fans are barely out of the education system. My fans don’t get the vibe because they weren’t there for it. On top of that, I spent more time looking at the cards than I did my camera, which doesn’t exactly show an inviting room.

Last night, I started testing out something else that offers the opportunity to keep talking. It’s simple, just a very simple game, but it is very outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and experience. It requires a decent amount of improv out of me, but more than that, I have to put myself into a completely different mindset. Like, we’re talking the complete opposite of how I am. A complete 180°.

To my surprise, I had a fucking blast with it. By the end of my shift, I had made up some very simple rules. By the time Shawshank came home, I’d made a new overlay for my screen with how to play. Come Sunday, I’ll have the new overlay in place and be ready to experiment some more.

[Current Mood | drained ]

[Listening To | morning news and the sound of a fan ]

Morning, fuckers. It’s finally Friday, and once again, it’s sunny. Podrick ✨blessed✨ me with almost semi-hourly snuggles, starting while it was still dark outside. I’d love to claim he’s just a lovey boy who loves his mama, but it’s probably his way of begging for breakfast.

My Thursday wasn’t as bad as Tuesday, but it wasn’t great. I logged in to stream, starting with the Ethernet cable connection, which is usually slow, but stable. Shit was unstable from the very start, and with my frame rate going from 30fps to 1fps and then back to 30fps again. I stuck it out until my first mini break, smoked a bowl, then switched over to my cell’s hotspot. The hotspot didn’t help the problem, unfortunately. The bowl hit hard – I delved too greedily, and too deep – but I stayed online. When most of the high had worn off, I logged out to make some dinner for myself and the cats.

I played some “Civ” for a while, then decided I wanted to do something. Anything. I put on a bra and some shoes, grabbed some poi, and went outside to spin until Shawshank came home.

Today’s the last day of the work week, and the start of a long, 4-day wrestling weekend. FUCK YES OILY BOYS.

[Current Mood | okay ]

[Listening To | World Cup updates ]

Good morning, world. It’s a sunny Thursday, but I’m sure this week’s got a thing for “morning sun, with afternoon bullshit”. Podrick was very cuddly this morning, and I lost count of how many times he came up for attention. And why was he so desperate for attention?

Because I took his automatic food bowl away, and he didn’t get his little 5:30am snack. Captain Butterball treats the robo-feeder like a 24/7 vending machine. If the bowl is empty, he’ll shimmy his paw up into the kibble-chute, turn the mechanism that moves the food, and manually dispense a couple of pieces at a time. Now here we are, with a 20lb cat who can’t stop destroying everything and everyone he lands on. Destruction aside, it’s wicked unhealthy for him, and I want to keep him around. On top of that, he’s dangerously close to being unable to clean his own ass.

As awful as Tuesday’s shift was, I vowed to not let it get to me. I set up the bedroom in the usual way. I’d planned to wear a wig, but changed my mind. I really couldn’t be bothered to fuck with my hair at all. Instead, I pulled it up in two pony tails, then threw a tank top over a sheer bikini top and considered myself “ready”.

I’ve been trying to sort out which tags I work best for me lately, because #mommy is full of people who want to completely disregard the TOS. I took out #mommy, added a bunch of new contenders, and have been running an app that changes my hashtags regularly. Monday was bad. To test things, I modified my little hashtag tracker to watch the 10 new tags, and tried it out on Tuesday’s stream, thinking maybe I’d be able to glean some ideas of what worked and what didn’t. Tuesday was even worse than Monday. Last night, I swapped out a couple of tags that definitely weren’t working for me, and added #mommy back. After two hours, I kept the top five tags, and turned off the tag-switcher. Things were marginally better for my last two hours. I streamed for about 4 hours total, collected my money, and logged out to make a grilled cheese.

Two more days, then we’ll have a day off to go do adult things. Is soccer over yet?

[Current Mood | socially exhausted ]

[Listening To | the world is BURNING ]

Last night’s shift was bad. This morning was bad. It’s just bad all around.

I’d love to know what’s happening to kill my stream. I used to get steady traffic, and now I get crickets. I fixed some of the issues with my cam’s quality last night, but it didn’t matter. In fact, lately it doesn’t matter what connection speed, or what overlays are on my video. It’s just dead for me. No one wants me. I’m a dried up husk of unfuckable woman.

Podrick came up for snuggles this morning, which was really nice. Until the penultimate visit, that is, when I fell asleep with him stretched across my chest and arms. When the 5:30am snack dropped into the bowl, he launched off of me, pulling me out of my fragile slumber. Pod’s next stop was a hard landing on Shawshank‘s stomach, waking him from a dead sleep.

Just bad all around.

[Current Mood | drained ]

[Listening To | rich white dude on tv, talking golf ]

Hello, friends. It’s Tuesday morning. Taco Tuesday, if that’s your thing.

It’s been a typical morning, so I won’t bore my 3 readers and the army of bots with the details. I was treated to plenty of cuddles.

Last night was awful on Chaturbate. My room languished at the bottom of the rankings all night. I had one tipper, a guy who had been in my room on Saturday as well. He tipped, but not enough for me to deal with. Saturday night, I asked him not to call me “mommy”. I guess I give off the mommy-vibes, which I’m fine with, because it’s not something I actively control. I blocked the word in general chat, because it’s at least a 50/50 chance they’re gonna make it weird, but I can’t block them from putting it in tip notes. I asked him not to on Saturday, and he was fine (with one slip up) after that. He started up last night and I wasn’t having it. I told him not to do it again or I’d kick him, he acknowledged it, then did it again and left. Whatever, dude. Thank you for $0.30.

I logged out, broke.

It didn’t help that I’m experimenting with my room’s hashtags again. Chaturbate and its ever-evolving algorithm demands constant trial and error. I had a little visitor tracker I used before all the upgrades, which was good for seeing actual numbers, but I was using a touch screen that was within easy reach back then. If I can’t figure out a way to keep the touch screen laptop within reach, I’ll have to modify the tracker so I can quickly trigger it with keystrokes tonight.