For an example of just how little we ever used The Pink Room, this week I remembered there’s a second closet in there.
Yes, you read that correctly. I forgot an entire closet in my house even existed. This isn’t something like that time I discovered we had a secret room in the house (a whole other post). At least the secret room was a secret to be discovered, and never mentioned when we bought the house. No, at one point, I actually put things in that closet. It’s been probably close to six years since I actually put anything in there. And what’s really funny? Shawshank mentioned the closet a week ago. We’d been talking about me eventually selling the tv, and he told me we still had the box. “It’s in the front of The Pink Room.” It’s in the closet. I forgot we had that closet.
Naturally, it’s just as bad as the one under the stairs was. It’s not a deep closet – I mean, it could be, but I can’t tell right now. However, unlike the first closet, it doesn’t have anything hanging on a rod, so everything was piled up as high as my shoulders. I opened the door and I swear to god, it was a miracle of physics that nothing came out like some sort of cartoon tidal wave of a hoarder’s wet dream. Closet Tetris.
Another closet means more shit to sort through. When I told Shawshank I started working on that closet, he told me to just throw out any clothes. At this point, I’ve only found a couple of hoodies, two light coats, and the jacket from his Canadian Army Cadets uniform. I also found a very ancient sewing box, and an upside-down lampshade used as a storage box. More stuff to bag up and put outside.
Speaking of bags…
Last week, I bought a box of big yard waste trash bags. This week, I’ll buy another box of bags, this time of big contractor trash bags. And the first thing that I’ll put in those contractor bags is the box of yard waste bags, because THEY FUCKING SUCK.
Then, of course, if I’m sorting things, there’s stuff to sell. I figured, I’ll take pictures of stuff as I pull it out of the closet, list it on Facebook, and get it out of the house. First up, some windows. I made Shawshank grab them from the side of the road a few years back when some neighbors were replacing some in their house. They were for some project, I think I wanted to make a coffee table and a bathroom cabinet, but never got around to making either. I list the two for sale, $15 for the pair; I’d just as soon leave them on the curb like I found them, but if I can get some money, even better. The listing specifically says it’s for BOTH windows, and one pane is cracked. What do I end up dealing with? This bullshit.
I like the “sorry…. no”, like I’m going to be all “OH FUCK SHE DOESN’T WANT MAH WINDOWS!” and then change my mind.
