Originally posted March 7, 2007
Work has been dead lately. We think business has dropped off, but it doesn’t seem to be any of our good regulars and we’ve still go the same number of losers that we generally get (that is, we get a slew of drug-seeking freaks in the later half of the week who want narcotics to party with). I’m beginning to think we must have the lowest price on syringes too, since we seem to begetting more folks coming in to buy them.
Not to mention that all the old people have suddenly decided that they can’t do anything for themselves and are calling up saying “fill everything!” “Fill everything” is just a shade better than “I need my little white pills that look like footballs”, but not by much. Any day now someone is going to call up from their bathroom and ask for someone to call their doctor so they can get someone out to the house to wipe their ass, and then they’ll whine about how much they’ll charge for a house call.
Yesterday we had someone come in and tell us that she was completely constipated, and that she’d given herself 5 enemas. Normal people would stop at maybe the 2nd or 3rd attempt at Roto-Rootering their ass if they didn’t see results, but OMGWTF, 5 enemas?!?!? It boggles the mind. And then, and then, when it was suggested that maybe she might want to buy a stool softener, she declined because, get this, the pills were red and she doesn’t like the color red.
5 enemas? My god, it’s like a firehose!