Scene: an upstairs bedroom, early morning light filtering in through a single window and falling on a figure in the bed; a small chair beneath the window serves as a bedside table. A phone is the only item on the chair.
[The phone’s alarm goes off. It’s 5:30 am and the room is filled with the opening lyrics of “The Circle of Life”]
Phone: [fucking blaring] Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
(Sithi uhm ingonyama) yeah, ingonyama
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
(Sithi uhm ingonyama)
[A figure in the bed reaches out and blindly grabs the phone, turning off the alarm.]
Phone: [in a cheerful British accent] Good morning, Crystal. The weather forecast today is a low of 62 and a high of 82. Today at 9pm is ‘our anniversary‘. Also, don’t forget to clean the cat litter box. Have a good day!”
Figure: [buried under the covers] I hate technology.
