[Current Mood | blah ]

Good weekend, my friends. The sun is shining, the coffee is flowing, the cats are sunning themselves. I figure we’ll let them enjoy the open door while they can, there won’t be many more weeks of this before winter is here. I’m reaching the point where I’m mildly uncomfy in bed. Sleeping naked under only the comforter keeps me from dying if my internal furnace decides to ramp up at 3am. I’ve been experimenting with supplements to help with that, and while the night sweats aren’t eliminated, things haven’t been nearly as bad. Unfortunately, the overnight temps – outside, not my own out-of-whack body temp – are reaching a point where what little bit of moisture is on my skin makes me cold when I wake up in the middle of the night.

But, if I wear anything to bed, I worry I’ll be back to square 1 again: a sweaty, miserable, menopausal mess.

We slacked off yesterday. It was a frustrating morning, with Podrick being an absolute shit from sun up, chasing Pippin around. Shawshank started playing Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 pretty early in the day to avoid watching the nonstop 9/11 memorial programming. I showered and washed my hair, put on real clothes, made some lunch, and we went to the meat shop. Shawshank bought us some local beef burgers, then we drove around town for a case of soda and fries.

Podrick never stopped being a dickhead, so I put him in a shirt. He didn’t move much when we put it on him the other day, and I figured if it didn’t outright stop him from chasing, it might slow him down. It worked pretty well as a perfectly acceptable $1 Thundershirt.

We’re kicking off a straight 5-day workweek today. For my own amusement, I plan to kick it off by doing clown shit today.

[Current Mood | cranky ]

It’s a morning. Podrick, being Podrick, had us up way too early, and now we’re both in shitty moods. Additionally, it’s gray as shit out there, and probably won’t improve any.

As planned, I was back on the bean last night. I’d planned to muck around in clown form for the evening, but Shawshank‘s mom needed to borrow me for the afternoon. I don’t make many appearances in town, and I don’t need to be adding to my lore by visiting the local vet as a clown. I’d set up most of the bedroom before we left the house, and wasn’t too late logging in. Things went much better than Wednesday’s failed shift. No anxiety, no panic, nothing out of the ordinary.

I made barely anything, but at least I did it. I feel like my room’s been quieter lately. One of my room’s apps filters out “demands” as well as a banned word list. It’s set to not show me the filtered content, and I’m wondering if it’s blocking more than it lets through lately. I’ll deal with that tomorrow, when I’m a clown. I worked on some Fansly stuff while I ate a turkey sandwich, then played a little Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 until Shawshank came home.

We have today off, so we’re not doing anything but going to the butcher shop to see if they have something burgerish.

[Current Mood | stressed ]

[Listening To | OMG gas so spensive ]

Good morning, world. It’s another sunny morning. The local wildlife is enjoying the sunlight and warmth while they still can. The bird feeders in the front yard are hopping, with a very steady stream of chickadees and sparrows swooping out of the pines and picking up seeds. Shawshank went outside and tossed some puffed wheat and seeds in the backyard when we heard the crows. The “core 4” – Huginn, Muninn, Edgar Allen Crowe, and Lenore – have been snacking on the walk, beaks and talons clicking.

My sunflowers bring all the bees to the yard, and they’re like, “we pollinate hard”.

Yesterday was shit. I set up the bedroom to work, as usual, and started getting ready. I hadn’t done my hair, because I wanted to wig it for a change. Found some skivvies, popped on a wig, and that’s about when things started to go bad for me.

The wig lasted about 10 minutes before I took it off. I wasn’t 100% feeling it, except in a sensory way, where I was feeling it 287%.

I pulled out all my props and game pieces, and went live. While going over the rules to my JOI game, my brain blue screened.

While part of me tried to recover, the rest of me panicked. I tried to calm myself down and recover, but shut things down after about 3 minutes. My anxiety level was off the charts. I sat on the bean, took a few deep breaths, and drank most of my bottle of water. When I had settled down a little, I focused on breaking down the set and putting everything away. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing some art therapy, working on new game pieces until dinnertime.

Today will be better. It can’t be worse.

[Current Mood | frustrated ]

Good morning, world. The last few days’ worth of strong winds and heavy clouds have blown off into Manitoba (GOOD RIDDANCE), leaving us with nothing but sunshine. The crows are on the back walk, eating sunflower seeds.

I had an absolutely shitty afternoon after Shawshank left for work. It was a slow shift, and I wasn’t feeling it. My regulars were in, one remarking that I was cheating on my normal Cherry Pepsi with the Cherry Coke. I wasn’t in the right head space to get into hot girl mode, and I wasn’t concentrating on what I was supposed to be doing because my ADHD kept trying to figure out how to perform a charlier cut instead. On top of that, we had loud, heavy winds all day, which fucked with my connection, further souring my mood.

I made myself some dinner and popped a CD into the PS2 until Shawshank came home. I’ve made my way through the dwarven mines, slaughtering any and all drow I came across. Eventually, I made my way to their leader, who promptly opened a can of whupass on an unprepared me. I need more potions.

I’m hoping the sunshine improves my mood today. I’ll be back on the bean in the afternoon.

[Current Mood | amused ]

[Listening To | Canadian weather reports with the Temu version of Adam Levine ]

Good morning, world. Happy Tuesday. I woke up a little earlier than I’d have liked, the bed was a little bit warm and Podrick wanted snuggles. Snuggles require a trip to the window, the shade, and the screen, all of which undoubtedly wake up Shawshank.

We both worked yesterday. I pointed the phone at me, put on some music, and did my makeup while I yapped on TikTok. I didn’t expect much out of it; they’re not interesting streams. I yap about whatever pops into my head while I transform into a human. Once I finished, I started setting up the bedroom for a Bean Stream, then made myself lunch. Once fed, I finished setting up, brushed my hair, and got on The Bean.

Things went better than I expected. I did a dick reaction/rating for someone, which is always fun because the pics come in blurred and it’s a surprise every time. Half the time, they send a standard issue cock. The other half, I’ll get something interesting. For every default dick they send, there’s a self sucking, self fucking, or diaper-wearing dick. Yesterday, the dick was trapped in a little purple chastity cage. The wearer also asked to be my submissive.

I also was treated to a cam-to-cam, which lets me watch (but not hear). It was a POV angle, almost like he had a GoPro cam strapped to his forehead while he sat on the toilet and jerked. I encouraged him to beat that meat, and cheered him on when he finished. Bravo, sir. I hope you enjoyed your secret bathroom wank.

I’m starting to gain more regulars. I made $100-ish off a guy one night a couple of weeks ago, and he’s been stopping in regularly since. He hasn’t spent as much, but he’s still visiting- and tipping. I’m getting a lot of people who just love my voice, and I’m starting to think I should invest in a mic with an adjustable arm instead of a proper webcam. I spent some money on Temu this weekend, and probably should have spent the money on a new mic, but noOOOoooo, I needed to buy a realistic dick to make my watchers feel inadequate.

I expect more of the same today, and tomorrow, and the next.