[Current Mood | nostalgic ]

[Listening To | Canadian news ]

Good morning, y’all. It’s a wet Wednesday here, and I believe our heat wave is well and truly over.

The morning DJs I grew up listening to in Rhode Island are retiring after 36 years, they made an announcement this morning. There’s talk it’s less a retirement and more likely IHeartRadio’s “AI can do your job so we no longer need DJs”, but it doesn’t matter. Sure, they rotated through about a dozen artists’ discographies and I’m pretty sure anything from this millennium was prohibited from entering the studio, but that was our Led Zeppelin/Skynyrd/U2/RHCP station. Paul and Al were a staple of RI radio, feeding my childhood – and well into adulthood – a steady stream of raunchy humor for a listener base that thought Howard Stern might’ve been a bit too much¹. One of them even signed the guestbook of my very first web page sometime back around the turn of the century.

A guy I’ve never seen on CB came into my chat on Monday, tipped², and opened the conversation with “I’ve been trying to catch you on stream for a while now!” and I immediately knew he was a bullshit artist. Firstly, ain’t no one seeking me out. I’m lucky if I break into the top 1000 cams online. Second, it’s giving car warranty spam. He tried to suck up to me, telling me he loved my aesthetic and the vibe I cultivated, and asked how long I’ve been camming.

“I’m eternal”, I replied. He tipped another token and asked the same question. “I’m eternal“, I told him again. “I am the past and the future, and I’ve been here since the beginning.”

That wasn’t enough to stop him, and his next question was what keeps you in the cam business for so long? I leaned into the camera conspiratorially and replied, “I think it’s the autism.”

He left shortly after, when I made it abundantly clear I wasn’t interested in joining “his” cam site. I reported him for trying to pull me off-platform, and made a note on his profile in case he tried again.

And of course he came back – last night. Same username, but now with an extra letter on the end. He was smart enough not to keep going with his bullshitery.

Today, we work. I hear the crows, which means I need to put on some pants and throw some wheat puffs to them.

1. Not all the time, though. I distinctly remember this radio station having an X-rated hypnotist on to “make” a woman cum on the air during an evening commute. ↩︎
2. 1 token. He threw 5¢ at me. ↩︎

The heat wave is breaking, and we’re sitting at a manageable temp for the moment. I wasn’t up super early, and when I did wake up, I went back to sleep for a little bit. Podrick behaved while we were in bed, but the cooler temps have him triggering Shawshank like whoah this morning. Pippin is chilling somewhere quiet.

I worked, but it was a miserably warm shift again. I set up the bedroom, then took a break because I couldn’t find Podrick and knew there was a non-zero chance he’d pop up in the bedroom while I had my tits out. He turned up, hiding in the bathroom, cuddling the toilet to keep cool. I logged in and made more than Saturday’s shift, but I’m nowhere near paying myself back for the Dell. On a positive note, one of the bots I use to remind people to follow me was fixed recently. It’s supposed to remind people to follow every minute. A month or so ago, an update added a bunch of sexy new “follow me!” prompts, but the code was miscalculated to send prompts every hour instead. Sure, the settings said it should be every minute, but nope. Hourly. That was properly fixed this week, and I’m finally getting followed again. I was surprised to see I broke 8000 followers yesterday.

When I logged out, I made myself a delicious frozen dinner, then played some RCT3. I can’t seem to get the park to attract more than ~1500 guests. I started an ostrich breeding program. Shawshank came home and put wrestling on, and I opened a fresh sandbox and made a big waterfall.

The cycle begins again.

Greetings and saturations, y’all. The sun is beating down upon TinyTown this morning, and temp is already up to 75°🦅 and it’s not even 8am. This is some positively Rhode Island heat bullshit, the dreaded triple-H combo of hazy, hot, and humid. We can tell how hot it’s been, because Podrick was too warm to do asshole things early this morning. The first of the crows has just dropped down onto the front lawn for breakfast. I’m trying not to get hung up on the heat in the forecast, it’s supposed to be cooler than yesterday.

And yesterday was brutal.

We were forced to put on clothes and leave the house, since we needed groceries. Once it was clear that I wasn’t planning to do makeup, Shawshank said “then you need to put clothes on so we can leave now, I want to get into some A/C”. Heat aside, it was a beautiful day to sit in the truck.

We made a couple of stops in Slightly BiggerTown for supplies, then drove back home. I stripped down into undies as soon as I could. We put food away, ate lunch, and played with our amusement parks. I put a horse habitat adjacent to my western mining town. Shawshank started a tiger breeding program. Several of his park’s guests got a lesson in ♩♪♩♬ THE CIRCLE OF LIFE ♬♩♪♩ when he dropped a gazelle in the tiger enclosure.

We have a long week ahead of us, a full 5-day stretch to be followed by a full weekend off. Today is probably going to suck at least as much as yesterday. At least I have the benefit of working in as little clothing as possible.

Hello, world. It’s a big bright sunshiny Sunday, and the heat has already begun. Not that it really stopped, we’ve been under heat advisories for the last three days. I slept on top of the covers last night, which is absolutely unheard of for me. I’ve been up. UP. It’s been morning for a while.

BUT

I woke up to good news.

I don’t wish anyone dead, but I’ve read certain obituaries with great pleasure

Clarence Darrow

Other than that news, it’s shaping up to be a morning. We’re all in moods.

I streamed for a bit yesterday, wearing my improvised pasties. The response was mixed: I feel like I held my place in the rankings a little more steadily, but didn’t see any increase in tips. Fridays and Saturdays usually suck for me; I know I need to see what happens on a regular day to make any real decisions about them.

We have today off, and we’re going to head out to Slightly BiggerTown for groceries. At least it will be a gorgeous day for a drive.

[Current Mood | blah ]

[Listening To | muzak ]

Good morning, bitches. We’re up. There’s sunshine and open doors and fresh air. We were allowed to sleep past 4am this morning; I’ll give Podrick extra loves as thanks. The cats have each taken a window to watch over their own little versions of TinyTown Nature Preserve.

We survived Friday. The weather was warm, and I was feeling clammy by the time I had the bedroom set up. I needed to be out of the bedroom to handle a delivery, and didn’t log in at the normal time as a result. I stuck it out for about 90 minutes of streaming before deciding I was getting nothing. Nothing. The majority of people dropping into chat were followers, almost no one found me via searches.

I logged out and made dinner for the three of us, then played with my coasters. I pulled down the one everyone was terrified of and rebuilt a pussy-fied version of it. Everyone loves it, and I pretty much doubled the number of park guests as soon as it opened. I also put in a pool with a water slide, because why the fuck not?

Let me just say one thing: FUCK WATER SLIDES. Getting that fucking thing opened was an absolute bitch. Ride “must be connected to a pool complex”? It’s RIGHT THERE. But no, the real issue is that the spiral staircase needs to attach to the side of the platform, not the end. There were about 100 peeps in my pool when I opened the slide, and they positively swarmed that staircase like ants to a picnic lunch.

Shawshank‘s working tonight, and I’m going to log in. I’m going to set up and stream, and see what sort of bullshit I can get into tonight.