Good morning, world. I’m up. We’re all up early because cats.
I finally grew bold enough to verify myself on Chaturbate. Out of the four adult platforms I’ve been verified on over the years, this was the most painless. Twenty-five years ago, verifying on Ifriends required me to scan my driver’s license and take nudes photos of myself showing all my tattoos, and approvals took a week. Three years ago, Onlyfans needed my ID, selfie, and social media; Fansly asked for my ID, selfies holding the ID, and a video confirming I was who I said I was. In both cases, I was approved after a day or so. Yesterday, I took a pic of my passport, a selfie, and was approved in less time than it would have taken me to get a pizza delivered.1
Actually getting up and running was another thing altogether. I spent the afternoon configuring a bot to manage chat and set up my tip menu. I geoblocked a few countries and states. After dinner, when I was properly unsober, I finally hit BROADCAST. I can stream through my phone, but the chat is barely visible to me. I can see the chat from the broadcast dashboard on my Chromebook, but not the camera view. They want me to broadcast in landscape, naturally, but turning my phone makes the tripod unsteady. Not only that, but my “set” is on the bed, and the angle isn’t the best for landscape mode. Streaming while connected to the wifi was about 9fps, but streaming on my cell network would be about 30fps.
I had set a 1 token tip option called “I can’t fap to this”, and earned three tokens. I stuck it out for about 90 minutes, and made myself 15¢. One of the first things I did was disable private shows, so I know I’m already limiting myself. I don’t have an interactive toy, which is another strike against me, but I don’t want to drop ~$150 on something that might make me money.2
Shawshank has today off, so we’re kicking it on the couch. I’m going to wash my hair, because it feels weird. We’re going to watch some wrestling later, but for the moment we’re watching some true crime stuff, with some local flavor. Pippin is in the bedroom enjoying some quiet in a safe spot, and maybe later I’ll swap her for Podrick so I can get some sewing done.
- if I lived in civilization, that is ↩︎
- it wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t nearly identical to a gadget I already have ↩︎
