Random

Dear self, I don’t care how much money you have in the bank, YOU CAN NOT HAVE A FUCKING THEREMIN. Sincerely,Your logical side

Mom: [grocery shopping at Walmart and getting at 20′ of eggs] Oh, they have eggs today! Me: Of course they do, it’s almost Easter. Mom: Well, they don’t have chicken wings. How can they be out of wings? Don’t they know people want wings? Me: Jesus didn’t die for your wing, Ma. Brian: [mumbled laughter]

I picked up two bathing suits yesterday. Apparently, the secret to finding a bathing suit I really like is to angrily grab a one-piece and a mix and match bikini set, then buy them without ever trying them on. I’m pleased. They’re both very much my style, I think. Maybe it’s just that I’ve been…