Not I, said the fly.

Not I, said the fly.

I totally didn't just run to the backdoor to smoke an entire bowl while Brian and Mom are having a cigarette out front. Nope. Wasn't me.

I lost a part of my soul that day

Brian's uncle: (regarding restaurant we just left) That was not a very sanitary bathroom. Me: (in my head) DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT SANITARY I'VE SEEN YOUR BOOKMARKS OLD…