Good morning. It’s Monday, and that makes me sad. I’ll be doing early shifts for at least the next two weeks, forcing me to switch my workouts to after dinner. When I first started working out, the post-dinner workouts were awesome, but I much prefer the morning workouts now.
In addition to it being yet another Monday, this is always one of the worst weeks in the pharmacy. Patients are traveling, and everyone wants things early. The doctors’ offices are closing for half the week, and they’re trying to get as much stuff sent to us as possible. Normally, between DayTech and I, and a good shift with whichever pharmacist is on, we can handle things pretty well. Now? These new systems have up all flying blind. It’s one thing to be a new employee and the only one who doesn’t know the system.
In our case, it’s like we’re all the new employee.
Yesterday, we baked. It was good, it kept me from dwelling on the neverending stream of bullshit that is constantly flowing through my head lately. On the downside, however, I have absolutely no willpower when it comes to eating raw cookie dough, and I ate way, waaaay more than I should have.
It’s looking more and more likely that I’m not going to get a family invite, and I’m trying to come to terms with it. I know he probably feels even worse; if I didn’t get him out, or if he didn’t get in trouble in the first place, things would be different.
I’m still coming out of the fog surrounding the fact that he’s done, for the most part, with all the legal things. The uncertainty of things has been hanging over our heads for a year now, and I feel like I can finally take a step back and breathe a little. We were cleaning out the spare room yesterday, and shifting a few boxes around. He made a comment about getting the stack of boxes out of the basement, and anytime we’d get an order of coffee or cat litter from Amazon, he’d just toss the box in the basement. I didn’t know we even had a stack of empty boxes, why would we need a mountain of boxes in the first place.
“I didn’t know if you’d have to move,” he told me.
So.
Tonight we start prepping for our Thanksgiving. Last year, we were both convinced it was going to be our last, and I cried before I left to go have my first family holiday dinner without him. This year, we’ll do our own things.
