Good morning, world. You up? We’re up. The cats are up. I’m having one of those WHAT TEMPERATURE IS IT? days, where my body can’t decide if we’re too hot or too cold. I’m too chilly without my hoody on, but too warm with it. It’s Saturday, so it’s time for Dateline repeats.
We had a Friday. I put clothes on, did the human things, and we hit the road and drove out to Slightly BiggerTown before I could even hit the POST button. I noticed we didn’t have a list, but we did pretty well without it. The only thing we forgot was sugar. We hit up the dispo, then grabbed lunch to go, and headed back home, talking about how nice it would be to smoke two joints on the patio. “I’ll bring out my poi”, I said, thus jinxing the rest of the night.
We put the groceries away and proceeded to get lunch going. I was fighting with an accordion door and the cats, trying to keep the cats out of the closet while I microwaved lunch. At some point in my struggles to hold Podrick in one hand and lunch in the other while slamming the microwave door closed, I banged my elbow on the closet door. My entire arm went completely numb and I saw stars. I’m still not sure how I managed to hold on to my plate while I crossed the kitchen, but I did. I set the plate down, leaned back against the counter, and thought don’t you call him over here if shit’s not actually going sparkly.
Looking back, I probably should have called him over, but how was I to know that whacking your funnybone can do more than just make your arm feel weird?
I came to on the floor, Shawshank frantically going between cradling my head and turning off the stove. What is he cooking? I wondered, looking up from the linoleum. Be wasn’t cooking anything, I’d simply face planted on the stove, catching myself on the burner knobs on the way down. I hit my mouth on a knob, smearing lipstick all over it. Shawshank put me on the couch with a big cup of water and a soda and told me I couldn’t have any more fun for the day. We played Balatro and watched wrestling instead. The inside of my lower lip is bruised up this morning, perfectly mirroring my teeth. I can feel a bit of another bruise just under my chin.
Shawshank has work tonight. The weather report looks like it will be amazing I’ve been given explicit directions that if I do go out for some spin time, I am to be completely hydrated and I need to let him know and check in with him periodically.
