I had to take yesterday off. I didn’t have a good sleep. In fact, you could say it was not sleep. I woke up around 2am and just could not sleep. I was too warm. I’d take some covers off and then I would be too cold. That cycle is awful, because at that point I start freaking out. Is this anxiety? Is this ANOTHER day of cycling through chills/sweats/nausea/sleep? Is this a hot flash? Is this the SENSE OF DREAD they say frequently comes along with heart attacks? If I did sleep, it wasn’t good.
I mostly tossed until around 5am, when I moved out to the living room. If I was too warm under proper bedding, maybe I’d be better off on the couch, under a discount fleece. Shawshank came out around 7am. I hopped in the shower for a bit, then curled up into a tiny ball on the couch and slept. The cats alternated snuggling on me until I woke up around noon. I forced myself to keep drinking water. Hydrating is the worst when this bullshit starts, because every time I drink anything I get the chills again. Shawshank made us dinner, and I ate real food.
And that’s pretty much where things are right now. Last night’s sleep was pretty typical, which is to say I was up and moist at the worst time to wake up. But we have coffee and cats, and I’m awake and not feeling like my insides want to crawl away. I’ll call that a win.
